An Overdue Adieu

Alright people, I have a good-news-bad-news situation on my hands here and I think you should be the first to receive all the glorious details.

First, the good news is I’m expanding my practice. In the past several months I’ve received a great deal of praise and admiration from various individuals and organizations hailing me as the next revolutionary theologian and all around problem solver of the 21st century. Powerful national governments, religious leaders, several Fortune 500 companies and Steve (the guy that does my dry cleaning) have inundated me with literally hundreds of issues and dilemmas that require my complete and immediate attention.

Taking into consideration the gravity of the immense work that lays ahead and that the fate of the entire free world may very well be in my capable hands, I have decided to discontinue my posts here on Blogger for an indefinite period of time. I may continue posting sometime in the distant future but that will only occur after I accomplish two things of vital importance:

1. Working with representatives of the world’s various nations, I plan on ridding our planet of all the social, religious and ethnic disputes that currently ail mankind. I will not rest until there is an international peace among nations and the citizens of our planet live together in global tranquility and harmony.

2. I also need to finish my Christmas shopping.

However, before I embark on my pilgrimage to heal the world (and purchase cheap gifts over the internet) I feel it would be unfair to leave without at least briefly reflecting on my time spent here.

Warning: Sincere commentary in below paragraph!

Although I’ve been in the business of being a smart ass for quite awhile now, I had never delved into the realm of blogging before and I have to admit that I had a good deal of fun with it. It’s a viable forum to express opinions, research and amass information and provide and find a little entertainment. I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to put together a bit of creative writing while simultaneously expressing my views and opinions on issues that I find personally important. Although I will most likely discontinue posting on this particular blog I plan on eventually submitting work to various other sites for their consideration.

So, I must now bid you adieu and set out on my journey to serve humanity and distribute gift cards to my crazy relatives and ungrateful friends. Regardless of what holiday you may be celebrating please remember to take care of each other. Love one another, strive to do well on to all and, at all cost, avoid the chronically stupid.